Feelings, Love and the Etheric by Stuart Wilde

Much of what we call ‘feelings’ are in fact only the sensations of the electrical impulses that we register in the brain when we for instance tapper hard surfaces with our knuckles.

The other things we call feelings are in fact how emotions are the outcropping of the intellects opinions. Pleasing emotions rise from pleasing circumstances, negative emotions come from circumstances that contradict our opinions. It seems to me that human emotions are not really feelings, they are reactions.

I have come to realise that real feelings lie in the subtle body, the etheric body which is the energy field around your body. You can prove this to yourself. Lie down, head to the north, feet to the south. Relax, breathe deeply and entrance yourself. Mentally elongate your etheric body by visualising it pushing it out through the bottoms of your feet and through the top of your head.

Next, visualise yourself hovering above the physical body at about the height of one foot to 18 inches. Roll off to the right like a log, pause, and come back. Then repeat the process to the left. hovering once more over the physical body, mentally force your etheric self into a pole shift, so now your etheric head is where your physical feet are and vice versa.

Try visualising yourself rocking back and forth like you're in a hammock. This will dislocate your etheric body from the physical body somewhat, causing extra energy to flow through the subtle body, loosening it.

When do you feel nice and relaxed, visualise your legs moving down through the floor. By now, if your etheric is nice and loose, you'll feel your etheric legs dangling through the floor. Or perhaps your whole etheric body will float down and you'll feel your etheric perpendicular to the floor. Meanwhile, you're still aware of the sensation of your real legs flat along the ground sending impulses to the brain. You'll begin to see how sensations and feelings are very different.

Physical sensations are real enough but they do not feel anywhere near as real as etheric feelings, which are much more subtle. You are your etheric and the etheric contains the perpetual memory of you, the spiritual “feeling” that identifies you as an eternal being.

Many of the memories and feelings in the etheric are extremely subtle. In fact, from the perspective of the waking intellect, they are often subliminal, beyond conscious awareness.

What was discovered in this quasi out-of-body state was the existence of hitherto unknown feelings, many of which were negative and destructive. These negative perceptions hit me hard, they came upon me as a dark night of the song.

I had reached a stage in my life or I thought I was a pretty good bloke, fairly kind, generous, and considerate. I felt I had worked hard to transform myself and I helped others to transform. Yet here, suddenly, were a whole bunch of unresolved negative feelings inside me that seemed so hellish. They didn't really belong to me, they existed deep in the subconscious beyond my normal awareness.

Psychologists call these dark inner aspects of one’s psyche the “shadow”. Jung's idea was that every aspect of positivity and light in the personality was counterbalanced by the dark. Jung met this shadow in a dream and was very scared of it. I met my shadow in the etheric state. I hated it. After having toiled for years and years to achieve a positive state, it felt to me like I had to start all over again.

Most psychologists suggest you accommodate the shadow by knowledge in it and acting out your darker tendencies in some sacred ritual way, for example dance, or through simple sacrifices, or through prayer and fasting. The important thing is to realise that the dark side cannot be repressed. To maintain balance one has to teeter-totter in the middle between light and dark.

But at the etheric level it seems more than just a psychological process of acknowledging the negative waves. That shadow self exists as a dark plot on the etheric self. It affects one's overall feeling.

Earlier this year, I was in Ireland with some friends on a “fairy walk” in the forest. During that walk I went through a kind of near-death experience in which my personality blanked out for several hours and even though my sense of “I” was gone, I could still talk, walk and move about. It was a weird sensation but I am used to it as it has happened before. It's like straddling two worlds, the nature kingdom and one's inner spiritual self on the one hand, and the physical world on the other.

What surfaced during that altered rarefied state was a perception of the blot that so many subliminal negative emotions had created on my spiritual evolution. Just saying one has to accommodate the shadow and performing a ritual or two is not enough. Our nasty side stands inside our spiritual self as a dark blob, a real identity, a bad memory. I found it most bothersome. I remember praying, I felt that with that amount of inner negative energy, even though it is normally hidden away, it was still a part of my etheric and therefore part of my real feelings. I was scared for I felt if I

didn't process those negative antagonisms, hatred and fears, then upon death I might find myself drifting to a very negative world. I've seen a few of the hellish world's described in the ancient wisdoms. They are no picnic!

So I started working through as many of the negative emotions as I could, one by one. It was a matter of going deep within, discovering a negative feeling and honouring it, talking to it and finding out where it came from.

For example, I discovered I was very antagonistic towards young males aged between about 13 and 18. I had a violence and hatred towards them which lay deep within. Reviewing these subliminal feelings, I realised all went back to the time when I left my home in Africa age ten. I was sent to an English boarding school, where there was a lot of violence, bullying and emotional abuse.

Arriving at the school and innocent off the beaches of Africa, I was naturally very intimidated by the older boys. I got my head kicked in real quick. To survive I had to become mean and nasty and so threatening that any older boy would think twice about having a go at me. At the ripe old age of 10 I acquired a gang of followers and I was forced to become a mafioso. It worked. After that I never had any more trouble and by the time I was 13, I had my finger in every racket going at that dumb school.

The trauma of that school left a deep antagonism inside me for teenage boys even though now, 40 years later, it is no longer relevant. Once I discovered the reason for my antagonism, I could release it.

As part of the sacred journey, you first have to work on your life eliminating dishonesty and half truths and accepting a humble and honourable stance. Simultaneously you work in your conscious thoughts and emotions, turning your inner dialogue from negative to positive — what’s referred to in other writings as an “inner pole shift” — then you are left with having to work on the dark blots, scares and hatreds in the subtle body. These blots are harder to get to but working with them is a part of the journey, especially for the sophisticated traveller who is digging into these pockets of nastiness deep within and sorting them out.

As part of the clean up process, I decided to do a global meditation, projecting love to every single person I have ever met in this lifetime. I've probably met 100,000, maybe 200,000 people. Of course I can't remember them all, which is a good thing, because I'd be projecting till the end of time. But I can still remember many thousands so the meditation has taken me a while.

This is the technique: I visualise the light of the God Force shining down upon me and breathe in, saying a person's name, or just remembering their face. And then breathe out, projecting a sense of well-being and love to them. People I know well, I breathe in and out three times and more distant acquaintances I breed only once.

As well as individuals, I project love collectively to groups of people, especially if I have ever been antagonistic towards them. So for example, even though I cannot remember the football teams I played against when I was a young man, I remember some of the antagonisms and hatreds that were part of the game. “Sport” they call it in the educational system.

So I would visualise the whole football team from 30 years ago and send love to them. If you have any hatreds or antagonisms for groups of people you can breathe them in and out en masse. It can be a whole race of people, a country, a football team, a town or whatever.

So that was part of how I decided to start cleansing what were previous invisible wounds upon my etheric body, trying to make it cleaner and tighter and more a reflection of the universal love in all things.